Melania Trump

Pulp-Noir fiction. Real world Newz.

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Jack Hammer here. This is where the real case files live. You look like you need answers. I sell the truth, ten cents a file, and don't expect a smile. If I have any hot tips for you, I'll pin them up here on the Bulletin Board. Now pour yourself a drink, and I'll give you the straight dope.

Slide

I run a clean shop, mostly. But some bum just ransacked my office and lifted a dozen Hammer File Memoirs from the safe. These files tell the real story, from the shadows to the light. Now some two-bit crook has my case history. It's a job for a new kind of detective. Maybe you?

Slide

The only clue I have right now came from a punk kid who witnessed the crime from the burger joint across the street. He didn't want to talk and tried to dummy up. I had to smack him around a little. Finally he broke and cried "Look Pops! They're on the menu! Sometimes they come double, with cheese!"

Slide

So there you have it. The only clue I have is... "They're on the menu! Sometimes they come double, with cheese!" So if you're on the case with me, stop back and I'll pin any updates I have here on the board. This is I tough nut, but I think we can crack it. If you'er gonna be in town awhile you should...

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... have a look around. Maybe take in a flick at the Grindhouse, they have a great Pulp-Noir matinee. Or stop at the Newz Stand for a paper and a girly mag. If your eyes are bad or you're just lazy, they even have a girl who will read for you. Look for the headphones. Stop back, who knows what we'll find.

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To be continued..

A grayscale noir-style cartoon of a veiled showgirl whispering a secret to a detective in a trench coat and fedora in a foggy, European city.

THE HAMMER FILES: The Missing First Lady

Jack Hammer1 month ago6 days ago07 mins

The Missing First Lady The President walked into my office on a Monday morning, looking less like the leader of the free world and more like a man who’d

Jack Hammer

THE NEWZ DESK

The Desk of Jack Hammer

THE HAMMER FILES: The Missing First Lady

Jack Hammer

THE NEWZ DESK

The Memoirs