Skip to content
September 4, 2025
  • Protected: The Vault: Top Secret: Password Required
  • The Man Baby’s Latest Tantrum
  • The Unfiltered Voice: Jack Hammer’s Mission on NewzHammer
  • NewzHammer Publishing: Jack Hammer’s Memoir Noir Collection
NewzHammer - The Hammer Files: All Jack Hammer Noir Stories
Newz Hammer

Newz Hammer

Pulp-Noir fiction. Real world Newz.

Slide

Jack Hammer here. This is where the real case files live. You look like you need answers. I sell the truth, ten cents a file, and don't expect a smile. If I have any hot tips for you, I'll pin them up here on the Bulletin Board. Now pour yourself a drink, and I'll give you the straight dope.

Slide

I run a clean shop, mostly. But some bum just ransacked my office and lifted a dozen Hammer File Memoirs from the safe. These files tell the real story, from the shadows to the light. Now some two-bit crook has my case history. It's a job for a new kind of detective. Maybe you?

Slide

The only clue I have right now came from a punk kid who witnessed the crime from the burger joint across the street. He didn't want to talk and tried to dummy up. I had to smack him around a little. Finally he broke and cried "Look Pops! They're on the menu! Sometimes they come double, with cheese!"

Slide

So there you have it. The only clue I have is... "They're on the menu! Sometimes they come double, with cheese!" So if you're on the case with me, stop back and I'll pin any updates I have here on the board. This is I tough nut, but I think we can crack it. If you'er gonna be in town awhile you should...

Slide

... have a look around. Maybe take in a flick at the Grindhouse, they have a great Pulp-Noir matinee. Or stop at the Newz Stand for a paper and a girly mag. If your eyes are bad or you're just lazy, they even have a girl who will read for you. Look for the headphones. Stop back, who knows what we'll find.

Slide
To be continued..

Jack Hammer

Ace Reporter. Private Dick.

Good work. You found my secret file cabinet of personal dossiers. I guess you followed the first clue to the unmarked hamburger menu? These files are my prized, Pulp-Noir detective memoirs.

Some bum ransacked my office and lifted a dozen Hammer File Memoirs from the safe. Here's a second clue I picked up.... A punk kid rode by on his bike and yelled "Hey Hammer! if you're looking for the truth, you can find it in the ten cent rag". And with that he was gone. I'm not sure yet what he meant?

Be sure to stop by my desk for a drink. I'll give you my background and a clue or two to some of my cases.

THE NEWZ DESK

The Desk of Jack Hammer

A gritty, black and white image of Jack Hammer, a private eye in a fedora and trench coat, sitting at his cluttered desk with a closed wooden box in front of him.

I’m Jack Hammer: This is My Story The name’s Jack Hammer. Ace reporter and a retired private eye. And I’m currently the top dog here at

The Memoirs

1

NewzHammer Publishing: Jack Hammer’s Memoir Noir Collection

  • HAMMER PUBLISHING
2

An Evening at the Local Playhouse

  • HAMMER PUBLISHING
  • Jack Hammer's Favorite Noir:
3

Jamie Diamond’s Sparkle

  • HAMMER PUBLISHING
  • Jack Hammer's Favorite Noir:
4

An Inheritance of Grief

  • HAMMER PUBLISHING
  • Jack Hammer's Favorite Noir:
5

The Case of December’s Debt

  • HAMMER PUBLISHING
"They say laughter's the best medicine. I guess that's why my doctor told me to quit journalism and start a clown college. But then I realized, most of the clowns are already in politics. And their jokes? Not nearly as funny as the ones I dig up on the daily."

Yours Truly, Jack Hammer.
  • NEWZHAMMER INC
    • THE HAMMER FILES
    • HAMMER PUBLISHING
    • Jack Hammer’s Favorite Noir:
    • HAMMER HUMOR
  • GRINDHOUSE THEATER
  • THE NEWS STAND
  • FLASH:NEWZ BULLETIN’S
    • FLASH: Newz Bulletin
    • THE DISTRICT
    • THE BLACK BOOK
    • THE LINEUP
    • THE GRIND
    • THE RANT SHEET
Three noir gangsters stand in a smoky lounge. The man on the left holds a black satchel. The image has a stark, graphic novel feel, rendered in black and white with a focus on deep shadows.
  • THE BLACK BOOK
  • THE DISTRICT

The Unfiltered Voice: Jack Hammer’s Mission on NewzHammer

Jack Hammer6 days ago6 days ago

THE BLACK BOOK

The Black Book

The most secretive of his work, THE BLACK BOOK, is where Jack Hammer houses his confidential investigative dossiers and hard-hitting exposés. Here, he pulls back the curtain on hidden truths and reveals the shocking details that others are afraid to publish. This is where his private eye instincts truly shine, exposing secrets in a way only he can.

Grayscale cartoon of a long line of diverse people holding application forms, waiting outside a towering 'Immigration Services' building, while a bureaucrat stamps applications 'DENIED,' symbolizing the slow, frustrating immigration process.
  • THE BLACK BOOK
  • THE DISTRICT
  • THE RANT SHEET

Alligator Alcatraz: How the System Turns Legal into “Alien” and Locks ‘Em Up

Jack Hammer1 month ago1 month ago08 mins

They walk into court, heads held high, clutching papers that scream “legal.” They’ve got families, jobs, lives built on the fragile promise

Read More
A grand, opulent ballroom with golden columns and chandeliers, starkly contrasted by an empty hospital bed in the center, medical bills spilling from an armchair, and scattered pill bottles, symbolizing the juxtaposition of presidential luxury with healthcare struggles.
  • THE BLACK BOOK
  • THE DISTRICT
  • THE GRIND

The Gilded Cage: Health Care Cuts & The President’s Golden Ballroom.

Jack Hammer1 month ago1 month ago05 mins

The word on the street, whispered by folks who know where the money really goes, is chilling. They’re talking about a budget so tight it squeaks, especially

Read More
Grayscale cartoon of Ghislaine Maxwell with straight, short black hair subtly engaging in a strategic, knowing conversation across a table with a stern male figure, hinting at a hidden deal.
  • THE BLACK BOOK
  • THE DISTRICT

The Maxwell Meeting: The Real Game Behind The Curtain.

Jack Hammer1 month ago1 month ago06 mins

This Newz Hammer expose, sparked by a critical tip from a trusted mole, pulls back the curtain on the highly irregular meeting between Deputy Attorney General

Read More
Grayscale satirical cartoon of a person's head filled with glowing digital data, surrounded by many small, watchful eyes, depicting surveillance and loss of privacy.
  • THE BLACK BOOK
  • THE GRIND
  • THE RANT SHEET

The Algorithmic Eye: Your Life, Just Data.

Jack Hammer1 month ago1 month ago05 mins

Alright, pull up a chair and pour yourself something strong, ’cause old Jack Hammer’s got another dispatch. Seems like the shadows aren’t

Read More
Grayscale satirical cartoon showing many hands grasping for a few coins on the ground, while tiny, smiling wealthy figures look down from towering skyscrapers in the background.
  • Jack Hammer's Favorite Noir:
  • THE BLACK BOOK
  • THE GRIND

They’re Touting a Boom, But All I Hear Is Your Wallet Screaming.

Jack Hammer1 month ago6 days ago04 mins

Alright, pull up a chair and pour yourself something strong, ’cause old Jack Hammer’s got another dispatch from the front lines of your shrinking

Read More
Grayscale satirical cartoon depicts a tough private eye, like Jack Hammer, dramatically exposing the tangled web of connections between caricatures of powerful figures resembling Trump, Epstein, and Maxwell.
  • Jack Hammer's Favorite Noir:
  • THE BLACK BOOK
  • THE HAMMER FILES
  • THE LINEUP

Dirty Laundry: Trump Epstein Maxwell connections

Jack Hammer1 month ago1 week ago07 mins

Listen up. They say the truth’s a slippery thing, especially when the powerful try to bury it under a mountain of lies. But down here, where the shadows

Read More
  • 1
  • 2

THE EDITOR’S DESK

The Desk of Jack Hammer

A gritty, black and white image of Jack Hammer, a private eye in a fedora and trench coat, sitting at his cluttered desk with a closed wooden box in front of him.

I’m Jack Hammer: This is My Story The name’s Jack Hammer. Ace reporter and a retired private eye. And I’m currently the top dog here at

THE DOCKET

Alligator Alcatraz: How the System Turns Legal into “Alien” and Locks ‘Em Up

Grayscale cartoon of a long line of diverse people holding application forms, waiting outside a towering 'Immigration Services' building, while a bureaucrat stamps applications 'DENIED,' symbolizing the slow, frustrating immigration process.

They walk into court, heads held high, clutching papers that scream “legal.” They’ve got families, jobs, lives built on the fragile promise

CASE CLOSED

THE HAMMER FILES: The Missing First Lady

A grayscale noir-style cartoon of a veiled showgirl whispering a secret to a detective in a trench coat and fedora in a foggy, European city.

The Missing First Lady The President walked into my office on a Monday morning, looking less like the leader of the free world and more like a man who’d

THE EDITOR’S OFFICE

NewzHammer Magazine: Pulp-Noir Fiction & News from Jack Hammer

NewzHammer pulp-noir graphic magazine cover by Jack Hammer, featuring a trench-coat clad detective in a rainy alley with a femme fatale in a doorway.

This is NewzHammer Magazine. No staff, no ghostwriters. Just me, Jack Hammer. I’m the editor-in-chief, the chief reporter, and the guy who buys the