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September 4, 2025
  • Protected: The Vault: Top Secret: Password Required
  • The Man Baby’s Latest Tantrum
  • The Unfiltered Voice: Jack Hammer’s Mission on NewzHammer
  • NewzHammer Publishing: Jack Hammer’s Memoir Noir Collection
NewzHammer - The Hammer Files: All Jack Hammer Noir Stories
Newz Hammer

Newz Hammer

Pulp-Noir fiction. Real world Newz.

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Jack Hammer here. This is where the real case files live. You look like you need answers. I sell the truth, ten cents a file, and don't expect a smile. If I have any hot tips for you, I'll pin them up here on the Bulletin Board. Now pour yourself a drink, and I'll give you the straight dope.

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I run a clean shop, mostly. But some bum just ransacked my office and lifted a dozen Hammer File Memoirs from the safe. These files tell the real story, from the shadows to the light. Now some two-bit crook has my case history. It's a job for a new kind of detective. Maybe you?

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The only clue I have right now came from a punk kid who witnessed the crime from the burger joint across the street. He didn't want to talk and tried to dummy up. I had to smack him around a little. Finally he broke and cried "Look Pops! They're on the menu! Sometimes they come double, with cheese!"

Slide

So there you have it. The only clue I have is... "They're on the menu! Sometimes they come double, with cheese!" So if you're on the case with me, stop back and I'll pin any updates I have here on the board. This is I tough nut, but I think we can crack it. If you'er gonna be in town awhile you should...

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... have a look around. Maybe take in a flick at the Grindhouse, they have a great Pulp-Noir matinee. Or stop at the Newz Stand for a paper and a girly mag. If your eyes are bad or you're just lazy, they even have a girl who will read for you. Look for the headphones. Stop back, who knows what we'll find.

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To be continued..

Jack Hammer

Ace Reporter. Private Dick.

Good work. You found my secret file cabinet of personal dossiers. I guess you followed the first clue to the unmarked hamburger menu? These files are my prized, Pulp-Noir detective memoirs.

Some bum ransacked my office and lifted a dozen Hammer File Memoirs from the safe. Here's a second clue I picked up.... A punk kid rode by on his bike and yelled "Hey Hammer! if you're looking for the truth, you can find it in the ten cent rag". And with that he was gone. I'm not sure yet what he meant?

Be sure to stop by my desk for a drink. I'll give you my background and a clue or two to some of my cases.

THE NEWZ DESK

The Desk of Jack Hammer

A gritty, black and white image of Jack Hammer, a private eye in a fedora and trench coat, sitting at his cluttered desk with a closed wooden box in front of him.

I’m Jack Hammer: This is My Story The name’s Jack Hammer. Ace reporter and a retired private eye. And I’m currently the top dog here at

The Memoirs

1

NewzHammer Publishing: Jack Hammer’s Memoir Noir Collection

  • HAMMER PUBLISHING
2

An Evening at the Local Playhouse

  • HAMMER PUBLISHING
  • Jack Hammer's Favorite Noir:
3

Jamie Diamond’s Sparkle

  • HAMMER PUBLISHING
  • Jack Hammer's Favorite Noir:
4

An Inheritance of Grief

  • HAMMER PUBLISHING
  • Jack Hammer's Favorite Noir:
5

The Case of December’s Debt

  • HAMMER PUBLISHING
"They say laughter's the best medicine. I guess that's why my doctor told me to quit journalism and start a clown college. But then I realized, most of the clowns are already in politics. And their jokes? Not nearly as funny as the ones I dig up on the daily."

Yours Truly, Jack Hammer.
  • NEWZHAMMER INC
    • THE HAMMER FILES
    • HAMMER PUBLISHING
    • Jack Hammer’s Favorite Noir:
    • HAMMER HUMOR
  • GRINDHOUSE THEATER
  • THE NEWS STAND
  • FLASH:NEWZ BULLETIN’S
    • FLASH: Newz Bulletin
    • THE DISTRICT
    • THE BLACK BOOK
    • THE LINEUP
    • THE GRIND
    • THE RANT SHEET
Three noir gangsters stand in a smoky lounge. The man on the left holds a black satchel. The image has a stark, graphic novel feel, rendered in black and white with a focus on deep shadows.
  • THE BLACK BOOK
  • THE DISTRICT

The Unfiltered Voice: Jack Hammer’s Mission on NewzHammer

Jack Hammer6 days ago6 days ago

THE DISTRICT

The District

THE DISTRICT, Jack Hammer conducts his deep dives into political corruption. This is where he holds power accountable, exposing the backroom deals and shadowy alliances that plague local government. His reports are meticulously researched and delivered with a cynical edge, revealing the rot at the heart of the establishment.

A grayscale photograph from the 1950s shows a working-class American family gathered in their modest kitchen, appearing distressed while looking at a bill, conveying the impact of economic hardship.
  • THE DISTRICT
  • THE GRIND
  • THE RANT SHEET

The Tariff Trap: 90 Days of Hot Air, Years of Pain for the Working Man

Jack Hammer1 month ago1 month ago07 mins

The Tariff Trap Alright, so the clock struck midnight on August 1st. Another political deadline, another promise turned to dust. Remember the grand talk?

Read More
Grayscale political cartoon depicting Vladimir Putin with a confident smirk, moving a chess piece, while an older, heavier Donald Trump looks bewildered and frustrated at the board, with several of his chess pieces overturned, indicating a clear defeat.
  • THE BLACK BOOK
  • THE DISTRICT
  • THE LINEUP
  • THE RANT SHEET

The Chessboard or the Clown Show? Trump, Putin, and Who Holds the Cards

Jack Hammer1 month ago1 week ago08 mins

So, you’re listening to the news, and you see it: the big headlines, the tough talk, the President of the United States and Vladimir Putin, still “at

Read More
Grayscale image showing a family, including a mother holding a child and another child with a toy, standing amidst the extensive rubble of destroyed buildings in a conflict zone, with a sign in the background asking "WHERE IS HUMANITY?". Rescue workers are visible searching through debris in the distance.
  • THE BLACK BOOK
  • THE DISTRICT
  • THE GRIND
  • THE RANT SHEET

The Gaza Grinder: Where “Humanitarian Law” Goes to Die

Jack Hammer1 month ago1 month ago09 mins

Alright God Damn-it. Let’s talk about “Gaze.” Not the kind you do at a sunset, but the kind where the world trains its eyes on a hellscape

Read More
Grayscale political cartoon depicting a stern figure resembling William Barr standing in a gloomy prison corridor, observing shadowy, puppet-like forms with a noose hanging in the background, suggesting hidden control and conspiracy.
  • Jack Hammer's Favorite Noir:
  • THE BLACK BOOK
  • THE DISTRICT
  • THE LINEUP
  • THE RANT SHEET

The Ep-stain on Justice: Who Pulled the Plug (and the Trigger)?

Jack Hammer1 month ago6 days ago09 mins

The official story always has more holes than a cheese grater in a shooting gallery. Pam Bondi’s “camera cut out” claim? That’s not

Read More
A grayscale cartoon illustration of a person behind prison bars, surrounded by abstract legal documents and gavels, symbolizing mass incarceration and systemic injustice.
  • THE BLACK BOOK
  • THE DISTRICT
  • THE GRIND

The Iron Cage Nation: Jack Hammer on America’s Prison Problem

Jack Hammer1 month ago1 month ago07 mins

They call us the land of the free. I call us the land of the locked up. Walk down any Main Street, flip on any news channel, and you’ll hear about

Read More
Grayscale cartoon of a long line of diverse people holding application forms, waiting outside a towering 'Immigration Services' building, while a bureaucrat stamps applications 'DENIED,' symbolizing the slow, frustrating immigration process.
  • THE BLACK BOOK
  • THE DISTRICT
  • THE RANT SHEET

Alligator Alcatraz: How the System Turns Legal into “Alien” and Locks ‘Em Up

Jack Hammer1 month ago1 month ago08 mins

They walk into court, heads held high, clutching papers that scream “legal.” They’ve got families, jobs, lives built on the fragile promise

Read More
A grand, opulent ballroom with golden columns and chandeliers, starkly contrasted by an empty hospital bed in the center, medical bills spilling from an armchair, and scattered pill bottles, symbolizing the juxtaposition of presidential luxury with healthcare struggles.
  • THE BLACK BOOK
  • THE DISTRICT
  • THE GRIND

The Gilded Cage: Health Care Cuts & The President’s Golden Ballroom.

Jack Hammer1 month ago1 month ago05 mins

The word on the street, whispered by folks who know where the money really goes, is chilling. They’re talking about a budget so tight it squeaks, especially

Read More
Grayscale cartoon of Ghislaine Maxwell with straight, short black hair subtly engaging in a strategic, knowing conversation across a table with a stern male figure, hinting at a hidden deal.
  • THE BLACK BOOK
  • THE DISTRICT

The Maxwell Meeting: The Real Game Behind The Curtain.

Jack Hammer1 month ago1 month ago06 mins

This Newz Hammer expose, sparked by a critical tip from a trusted mole, pulls back the curtain on the highly irregular meeting between Deputy Attorney General

Read More
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THE EDITOR’S DESK

The Desk of Jack Hammer

A gritty, black and white image of Jack Hammer, a private eye in a fedora and trench coat, sitting at his cluttered desk with a closed wooden box in front of him.

I’m Jack Hammer: This is My Story The name’s Jack Hammer. Ace reporter and a retired private eye. And I’m currently the top dog here at

THE DOCKET

NewzHammer: Smoke and Mirrors.

Noir style cartoon, grayscale. Bill and Hillary Clinton are being looked at by a large magnifying glass. The scene is dramatic and high-contrast, like a graphic novel, emphasizing scrutiny and hidden details.

SMOKE AND MIRRORS Another day, another headline screaming about the Epstein case. This time, the suits up on Capitol Hill are dragging the Clintons into

CASE CLOSED

THE HAMMER FILES: The Missing First Lady

A grayscale noir-style cartoon of a veiled showgirl whispering a secret to a detective in a trench coat and fedora in a foggy, European city.

The Missing First Lady The President walked into my office on a Monday morning, looking less like the leader of the free world and more like a man who’d

THE EDITOR’S OFFICE

NewzHammer Magazine: Pulp-Noir Fiction & News from Jack Hammer

NewzHammer pulp-noir graphic magazine cover by Jack Hammer, featuring a trench-coat clad detective in a rainy alley with a femme fatale in a doorway.

This is NewzHammer Magazine. No staff, no ghostwriters. Just me, Jack Hammer. I’m the editor-in-chief, the chief reporter, and the guy who buys the