Listen up! Jack Hammer’s back at the keyboard, and the stench of hypocrisy just wafted over the Atlantic, mixed with a faint whiff of a well-manicured green. Seems our favorite former reality TV star, the one who thinks the world’s his personal golf course, just pulled a fast one on the links in Scotland. And guess who was holding the flagstick? His own damned security detail.
Yeah, you heard me right. While the world’s spinning off its axis, while folks are scraping by, and while genuine threats linger like stale cigar smoke, the elite’s biggest ego was out there, allegedly getting a little… help… from the very agents sworn to protect him. Not from assassins, mind you. From a bad score.
The story goes, the big man hooks one into the heather – a shot so wild it probably startled a haggis. But lo and behold, when the ball’s finally “found,” it’s sitting pretty. A miracle, they say. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the “miracle” of a taxpayer-funded SS agent, disguised as a divot, nudging that dimpled sphere into a more advantageous lie.
I’ve seen some low-down tricks in my time. Shady backroom deals, crooked dice, fixed elections. But using the Secret Service – the men and women who’d take a bullet for you – to cheat at golf? That’s a new kind of special, even for him. It’s not just a breach of etiquette; it’s a testament to a mindset that believes the rules apply to everyone else. A mindset that thinks the world is just another hole to be played, and if you can’t hit it straight, well, you just move the ball.
This isn’t about the game, folks. It’s about the entitlement. It’s about how some people view service, duty, and public trust as nothing more than caddies with guns, ready to shift the terrain to their master’s advantage. And while the chattering classes debate policy and power, old Jack Hammer’s left wondering: if they’re willing to cheat on the golf course with the whole world watching, what else are they tidying up behind the velvet rope?
Keep your eyes peeled. And maybe, next time you see a politician on the green, check to see if their putter has a wire attached. This ain’t just golf. This is how the rich stay rich, and the powerful stay powerful, one suspiciously good lie at a time. The game’s rigged, even on the fairway. And sometimes, the biggest lies are told with a nine iron.
Yours truly, Jack Hammer.
