"They say laughter's the best medicine. I guess that's why my doctor told me to quit journalism and start a clown college. But then I realized, most of the clowns are already in politics. And their jokes? Not nearly as funny as the ones I dig up on the daily."
"I tried to write a story about honesty in Washington, but my typewriter jammed. Must’ve sensed the lie before I did. Around here, truth’s an endangered species—spotted once a decade, stuffed, mounted, and trotted out for campaign season."