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September 4, 2025
  • Protected: The Vault: Top Secret: Password Required
  • The Man Baby’s Latest Tantrum
  • The Unfiltered Voice: Jack Hammer’s Mission on NewzHammer
  • NewzHammer Publishing: Jack Hammer’s Memoir Noir Collection
NewzHammer - The Hammer Files: All Jack Hammer Noir Stories
Newz Hammer

Newz Hammer

Pulp-Noir fiction. Real world Newz.

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Jack Hammer here. This is where the real case files live. You look like you need answers. I sell the truth, ten cents a file, and don't expect a smile. If I have any hot tips for you, I'll pin them up here on the Bulletin Board. Now pour yourself a drink, and I'll give you the straight dope.

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I run a clean shop, mostly. But some bum just ransacked my office and lifted a dozen Hammer File Memoirs from the safe. These files tell the real story, from the shadows to the light. Now some two-bit crook has my case history. It's a job for a new kind of detective. Maybe you?

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The only clue I have right now came from a punk kid who witnessed the crime from the burger joint across the street. He didn't want to talk and tried to dummy up. I had to smack him around a little. Finally he broke and cried "Look Pops! They're on the menu! Sometimes they come double, with cheese!"

Slide

So there you have it. The only clue I have is... "They're on the menu! Sometimes they come double, with cheese!" So if you're on the case with me, stop back and I'll pin any updates I have here on the board. This is I tough nut, but I think we can crack it. If you'er gonna be in town awhile you should...

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... have a look around. Maybe take in a flick at the Grindhouse, they have a great Pulp-Noir matinee. Or stop at the Newz Stand for a paper and a girly mag. If your eyes are bad or you're just lazy, they even have a girl who will read for you. Look for the headphones. Stop back, who knows what we'll find.

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To be continued..

Jack Hammer

Ace Reporter. Private Dick.

Good work. You found my secret file cabinet of personal dossiers. I guess you followed the first clue to the unmarked hamburger menu? These files are my prized, Pulp-Noir detective memoirs.

Some bum ransacked my office and lifted a dozen Hammer File Memoirs from the safe. Here's a second clue I picked up.... A punk kid rode by on his bike and yelled "Hey Hammer! if you're looking for the truth, you can find it in the ten cent rag". And with that he was gone. I'm not sure yet what he meant?

Be sure to stop by my desk for a drink. I'll give you my background and a clue or two to some of my cases.

THE NEWZ DESK

The Desk of Jack Hammer

A gritty, black and white image of Jack Hammer, a private eye in a fedora and trench coat, sitting at his cluttered desk with a closed wooden box in front of him.

I’m Jack Hammer: This is My Story The name’s Jack Hammer. Ace reporter and a retired private eye. And I’m currently the top dog here at

The Memoirs

1

NewzHammer Publishing: Jack Hammer’s Memoir Noir Collection

  • HAMMER PUBLISHING
2

An Evening at the Local Playhouse

  • HAMMER PUBLISHING
  • Jack Hammer's Favorite Noir:
3

Jamie Diamond’s Sparkle

  • HAMMER PUBLISHING
  • Jack Hammer's Favorite Noir:
4

An Inheritance of Grief

  • HAMMER PUBLISHING
  • Jack Hammer's Favorite Noir:
5

The Case of December’s Debt

  • HAMMER PUBLISHING
"They say laughter's the best medicine. I guess that's why my doctor told me to quit journalism and start a clown college. But then I realized, most of the clowns are already in politics. And their jokes? Not nearly as funny as the ones I dig up on the daily."

Yours Truly, Jack Hammer.
  • NEWZHAMMER INC
    • THE HAMMER FILES
    • HAMMER PUBLISHING
    • Jack Hammer’s Favorite Noir:
    • HAMMER HUMOR
  • GRINDHOUSE THEATER
  • THE NEWS STAND
  • FLASH:NEWZ BULLETIN’S
    • FLASH: Newz Bulletin
    • THE DISTRICT
    • THE BLACK BOOK
    • THE LINEUP
    • THE GRIND
    • THE RANT SHEET
Three noir gangsters stand in a smoky lounge. The man on the left holds a black satchel. The image has a stark, graphic novel feel, rendered in black and white with a focus on deep shadows.
  • THE BLACK BOOK
  • THE DISTRICT

The Unfiltered Voice: Jack Hammer’s Mission on NewzHammer

Jack Hammer6 days ago6 days ago

THE RANT SHEET

The Rant Sheet

Finally, there is THE RANT SHEET, Jack Hammer’s most personal category. This is where his unfiltered opinions and satirical commentary run wild. Free from the constraints of traditional reporting, he uses this space to vent, to provoke, and to challenge his readers to question everything.

Noir flavored image of Man Baby trumps Latest Oval Office Tantrum
  • HAMMER HUMOR
  • THE RANT SHEET

The Man Baby’s Latest Tantrum

Jack Hammer6 days ago6 days ago04 mins

The Lowdown on a Low Blow You’ve got to hand it to Man Baby Trump. Just when you think you’ve seen the depths of his pettiness, he finds a new hole

Read More
Three noir gangsters stand in a smoky lounge. The man on the left holds a black satchel. The image has a stark, graphic novel feel, rendered in black and white with a focus on deep shadows.
  • THE BLACK BOOK
  • THE DISTRICT
  • THE GRIND
  • THE LINEUP
  • THE RANT SHEET

The Unfiltered Voice: Jack Hammer’s Mission on NewzHammer

Jack Hammer6 days ago6 days ago04 mins

The Unfiltered Voice of NewzHammer’s Jack Hammer Jack Hammer is more than a writer; he is the relentless, truth-seeking voice of the city’s underbelly.

Read More
Grayscale noir image depicting Trump and DeSantis in a camp setting, angrily reviewing a map and newspaper about immigration, frustrated by a failed "monument" plan.
  • HAMMER HUMOR
  • Jack Hammer's Favorite Noir:
  • THE HAMMER FILES
  • THE RANT SHEET

Alligator Alley: Monuments Built on Hate and Quicksand

Jack Hammer7 days ago6 days ago05 mins

The Perils of Hate: Monuments Built on Quicksand. The whispers started in the alleyways, down where the shadows stretch long and the truth gets twisted like

Read More
A black and white pulp noir style illustration of Vladimir Putin helping Donald Trump out of a car, with the two men holding hands
  • THE RANT SHEET

The Beast’s Cozy Backseat: Trump’s Alaska Rendezvous with Putin

Jack Hammer3 weeks ago3 weeks ago04 mins

WASHINGTON D.C. – The chill of Alaska wasn’t the only thing raising eyebrows this week as reports surfaced detailing President Trump’s

Read More
Grayscale graphic novel illustration of Vladimir Putin walking on Donald Trump's back as Trump lies on the ground in a dark, rain-slicked alley.
  • Jack Hammer's Favorite Noir:
  • THE DISTRICT
  • THE GRIND
  • THE HAMMER FILES
  • THE RANT SHEET

THE HAMMER FILES: THE CASE OF THE RED CARPET—WILL PUTIN WALK ALL OVER TRUMP?

Jack Hammer3 weeks ago7 days ago06 mins

The city was sweating under a blanket of August heat, the kind that makes a man’s collar feel like a noose. The world’s eyes were glued to the headlines:

Read More
Noir style cartoon, grayscale. Bill and Hillary Clinton are being looked at by a large magnifying glass. The scene is dramatic and high-contrast, like a graphic novel, emphasizing scrutiny and hidden details.
  • THE DISTRICT
  • THE LINEUP
  • THE RANT SHEET

NewzHammer: Smoke and Mirrors.

Jack Hammer4 weeks ago1 week ago03 mins

SMOKE AND MIRRORS Another day, another headline screaming about the Epstein case. This time, the suits up on Capitol Hill are dragging the Clintons into

Read More
  • THE DISTRICT
  • THE RANT SHEET

A Political Chase: A Hardboiled Take on the Texas Standoff

Jack Hammer1 month ago1 week ago03 mins

I’ve seen my share of rigged games. A case where the evidence has been twisted, a witness whose memory has been bought and paid for, a deck stacked

Read More
smug politician revealing a hidden stack of cash while a confused citizen struggles to read a complex tax form.
  • Jack Hammer's Favorite Noir:
  • THE BLACK BOOK
  • THE DISTRICT
  • THE LINEUP
  • THE RANT SHEET

The Tax Man Cometh, The People Get Nothing

Jack Hammer1 month ago6 days ago04 mins

They’re selling you a story. A grand plan. They call it a new tax law, a fix for the broken system. They say it’ll make the rich pay their fair share,

Read More
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THE EDITOR’S DESK

The Desk of Jack Hammer

A gritty, black and white image of Jack Hammer, a private eye in a fedora and trench coat, sitting at his cluttered desk with a closed wooden box in front of him.

I’m Jack Hammer: This is My Story The name’s Jack Hammer. Ace reporter and a retired private eye. And I’m currently the top dog here at

THE DOCKET

The Tariff Trap: 90 Days of Hot Air, Years of Pain for the Working Man

A grayscale photograph from the 1950s shows a working-class American family gathered in their modest kitchen, appearing distressed while looking at a bill, conveying the impact of economic hardship.

The Tariff Trap Alright, so the clock struck midnight on August 1st. Another political deadline, another promise turned to dust. Remember the grand talk?

CASE CLOSED

THE HAMMER FILES: The Missing First Lady

A grayscale noir-style cartoon of a veiled showgirl whispering a secret to a detective in a trench coat and fedora in a foggy, European city.

The Missing First Lady The President walked into my office on a Monday morning, looking less like the leader of the free world and more like a man who’d

THE EDITOR’S OFFICE

NewzHammer Magazine: Pulp-Noir Fiction & News from Jack Hammer

NewzHammer pulp-noir graphic magazine cover by Jack Hammer, featuring a trench-coat clad detective in a rainy alley with a femme fatale in a doorway.

This is NewzHammer Magazine. No staff, no ghostwriters. Just me, Jack Hammer. I’m the editor-in-chief, the chief reporter, and the guy who buys the